final reflection blog

What have I learned about teachers?

I have learned so much about teaching in the last three months from watching my two cooperating teachers. One thing I have learned about teachers is that they wear a million different hats. It's not just about lessons, but it's also about planning, strategizing, working with students, dealing with testing, and everything all at once. I think we all have ideas about being in the classroom, but there is a lot more to teaching than just being in a classroom. You always hear about how many responsibilities teachers have, but seeing it and hearing it are two different things.

I think I’ve learned management is such an important structure for teachers. Seeing two different teachers, one who is very controlled and one who has a more relaxed classroom atmosphere, has given me a wider perspective of what different perspectives look like. One teacher is pursuing silence and has a timer to keep students on track, the other uses music as an incentive and allows students to turn in late work. Both ways have merits, but the more controlled classroom gets more work done and spends less time on behavioral issues, but the more relaxed teacher is definitely more in tune with her students personally. I think each teacher works on what is important to them, and I will need to figure out my own management as I get closer.

I think the most important thing I’ve learned about teachers is that they need to have an end goal. Both of my teachers really focus on helping students become better readers and writers and that guides a lot of their teaching. I really admire how my original cooperating teacher, English, has a loose plan for the year to make her lessons and learning targets more complex by the end of the year. Overall, I think having a general purpose is helpful to juggling all those roles and remembering what the job is really about: student learning.

What have I learned about myself:

I have changed a lot over this quarter. Some of the things I’ve learned are just reinforcements of things I had already known. I had always known I was sort of a “bleeding heart” and that I have trouble with caring too much about things I can’t change. That was something I dealt with, as I found myself worrying about students out of class. I learned I really love my content areas, and that it is amazing to watch students experience Steinbeck or great literature for the first time, even if they “hate it.” But I also learned a lot about myself that I didn’t know. I learned that I need to be more confident. I feel like the good lessons were ones when I just let the nerves go. I also learned that it takes a lot for students to upset me, although, I did hit the frustrated with my classroom stage a couple of times. I think my understanding of why I want to be a teacher has cemented. I’ve had a couple of great experiences with students, and I feel like I can be a good teacher who is relational and pushes students without pushing them away.

It is hard to explain what I learned about myself in so many words, because it’s hard to describe. I think I got a better internal understanding of myself because as I was trying to get to know students, I was constantly reflecting on whether I was being authentic or not. So, putting that vision of “who I am” into words is difficult for me to do, but I feel like I am more at home in my own skin and in the classroom.

What have you learned about schools?

I think the thing I learned from working with my schools is how interconnected different classrooms are. If one teacher decides to do a “game day” in second period, the students come to their third period class checked out a little bit more. If students don’t get along in one class, the following class the teacher deals with same tension that as been building. I’ve seen a lot of great communication between teachers at my school, and I think that is really important because it keeps things running smooth. If teachers know about what was different from the routine, they can address it and deal with it.

I’ve also been impressed to learn how each school truly has its own unique culture. The school I am at gets a bad reputation in the community I live in, and a culture sort of formed around that idea that it is a “bad school.” I feel like half of the lessons and things teachers do are “counter cultural” actions, trying to instill value in students, teach them they are capable and worthwhile, and that education can be a means to greater achievement. I think many of my students come from mixed or divorced homes, and I understand where they are coming from. You definitely see those “outside of School” issues being brought up inside of school, if you’re paying attention at least. The “culture” of a school is so complex, but it is definitely a driving force in the way students act and learn. I think if were to teach at a school with a different set of students, I would teach differently. I also think next year, with a group f new students, the school’s culture will change and so I will adapt as I get to know my students.

What one lesson would I share with new pre service teachers?

            The most important lesson, in my opinion, is the art of balancing your life and learning to relax. This quarter I taught nine hours a week, had a lot of homework, and I was a mother and a wife. But unlike winter quarter, I just decided to be less stressed and not let anything get under my skin. I think when I started being in the classroom and teaching lessons, it was just another thing overwhelming me and I was freaking out. It doesn’t help that the Education department changes standards every week (so it seems), and the classroom I am in always in flux. It is a draining experience, because your time and emotions are taxed. But I am learning that my attitude has a lot to do with how effective I am and how much I get to enjoy the experience of teaching.

            I can’t control when my observer returns my emails or if a quirky substitute teacher shows up in the cooperating teacher’s class, yelling at my students. But I can make a choice to let things go when I get upset, and to take things one day at a time. I know this is cliché and probably not helpful advice to other people, but I think it is good life advice. Learning to control your emotions and making a choice to focus on the positive is how this quarter went a lot better for me. It is a practice, and I hope I can stay positive as a teacher and as a person.